Friday, June 8, 2012

Worst Matchmaker


I've talked a lot lately about one of my favorite pastimes – going to concerts. Well, besides that and shopping, another pastime that I am notorious for partaking in is matchmaking. And historically, I have been terrible at it. But that doesn't stop me! I won't rest until all my friends are happily hooked up! That said, I've created some doozies.

Like the time I set my friend up with someone from Match but told her it was a friend of a friend of mine because I knew she'd never meet someone from online. (This was years ago when it was still kind of new and taboo.) This guy turned out to be crazy. He collected guns, and he had a restraining order against him from his ex-girlfriend. He nearly got to the point of calling my friend so much that it bordered on harassment, but luckily, it all ended fine and no one got hurt. Close call. My bad.

Or that time in college I set my other friend up with another online guy who happened to go to our school and was in a music fraternity with one of my coworkers. He turned out to be the most boring guy on the planet. Now, I'm not a big talker, but I guess when they went on a date, this guy basically said nothing the entire time. It sounded just painfully awkward.

Another "problem" of mine is that I'm most comfortable talking to the nerdier, shy guys. I think they're great. They're my demographic, but they're not for everyone. That didn't stop me from setting my one friend up with guys like that time and time and time (and time) again to no avail. Finally, I realized that's not her type, and I'm moving on. In fact, something may be in the works on that right now.

What else, what else? I probably have half a dozen more stories like these. I'm just that bad. The reason I'm so bad is that my only basis for why two people should be together is that they're both single. That's about it. I see a single person, and I have a database in my head that automatically connects that person to another single person. I think I'm getting better, though. Now, I always run my ideas by a couple people first before going forward with them so that I can have someone else tell me if I'm crazy.

For awhile, I was retired from the matchmaking game because I knew I sucked at it, and none of my friends were single anyway. Now I have a few singletons in my life, and I am on the proverbial prowl. It is on. Be afraid, be very afraid. Just kidding...I hope.


  1. I believe the only thing that guy said to me on our "date" to the very elegant Culvers was "are you done?". He was then disappointed that I didn't want to hang out afterwards. Most.awkward.night.ever!

    1. Haha, sorry about that, chica!

    2. Well, he didn't seem that boring when I talked to him online. Oh well, you live and learn.

  2. LOL! Thanks god for CCAP, right!?!?