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| Our daughter, Bridget, waking up from a nap. Go Pack! |
Yesterday, Bridget was a very happy baby, which was refreshing since she had just had her 2-month shots the day before. As usual, though, she started to get cranky around 6:30. She was fed with a dry diaper, so our go-to theories are then overtired or gassy. Nate, my husband, had been taking care of her for awhile, so he was ready to be done. He suggested once again to let her cry in her crib for awhile. I took over and rocked her to sleep. After a few sleeping minutes, I tried to put her in her crib, and she woke right up. A little frustrated, I picked her up again and rocked her again, and she passed out again right away. I was able to put her in her crib this time after about 10 minutes.
It's good there's two of us. I give single parents a ton of credit--neither hubs or I could do it on our own. I totally understand the need to hand off to the other parent after you've tried everything. A crying baby is really frustrating. I have to admit, though, I was pretty proud of myself for being able to calm her down and rock her to sleep after the handoff. If I were a single parent, I'd have to leave her to cry for awhile, for my own sanity. While on maternity leave, there were times when I was showering where she would start crying, and I would have to hurry to finish while she fussed for 5 minutes or so. Since there are two of us, though, I don't think she should have to cry it out, at least not yet.
How do you solve different opinions about parenting? This may be a typical mom thing, but I tend to want to soothe my baby more than my husband does. After he makes sure all her needs are met and that she's most likely overtired, hubs would prefer to let her cry it out. I'm OK with the cry it out Ferber method, but it's too soon for that--our daughter's only 2 months old. In the long term, I'm sure it won't matter either way. As long as we make loving decisions and take care of her needs, Bridget will grow up as a happy girl and not remember what we decided to do when she was 2 months old.
Our families are coming over to help out with her this month while we're both back at work. I'm a little worried about how different parenting opinions will come into play while his mom and my mom take turns taking care of our girl. However, it's also kind of empowering that I get the last say (well, Nate and I). So I guess the only thing I'm worried about is everyone taking Nate's side since I think his views are a little more traditional. We'll see how it goes, and I'll have to learn to be stern about my position as Mom but also laid back because I know they want the best for her, too.
In other news, go Packers! OK, I don't watch football, but I am a fan of this state in general, so I'll get excited about that. Nate doesn't really watch sports either, but he would watch today's game if he wasn't forbidden--don't want to jinx anything! He does want to see the commercials, though, so we may watch it a half hour behind, so he can't be blamed for the outcome.
In other news, go Packers! OK, I don't watch football, but I am a fan of this state in general, so I'll get excited about that. Nate doesn't really watch sports either, but he would watch today's game if he wasn't forbidden--don't want to jinx anything! He does want to see the commercials, though, so we may watch it a half hour behind, so he can't be blamed for the outcome.
Cry it out worked wonders for Stephen. HOWEVER, babies aren't able to self soothe until they are about 4 months old, so you're supposed to do whatever it takes to make them happy up until that point. Most (including Ferber) recommend that you wait until closer to 6 months to try Ferber. We had sleep issues (waking up every 20 minutes when not being held) at 4.5 months so we did it then and it was the best thing ever. I would never do it earlier though. But it's really up to you and Nate to decide what's best. That's just what worked for us. I seriously spent the first 4 months of Stephen's life in the glider rocking him (well during naps anyway). Not fun and not how I really wanted to spend my time, but that's what worked.
ReplyDeleteYup, that's what I've read, too. Between 4 and 6 months, preferably 6. From the beginning, I told Nate no earlier than 3 since the first three months of life is like the 4th trimester. The glider rocker seems to work best for us, too. I don't know what people did before the invention of smart phones, though. I must've played hundreds of games of Solitaire and checked my Facebook, Twitter, and Google Reader in the middle of the night to pass the time.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I used my iPod touch for all of that too when I was up with Stephen. We have the book Ferber wrote if you ever want to borrow it. It was pretty interesting and helpful.
ReplyDeleteIt will get better. After about 4 months they get a lot more interactive and fun. Just be patient and enjoy it while it lasts. I know that's hard, but I miss my wee baby now.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with Lindsey. While it's not recommended to let a baby CIO (We were told in our birthing/newborn care class) until 6 months it is really up to you and Nate and what you feel comfortable with. And it really does get better as they get older they do cry less overall.
ReplyDeleteDo you have any form of a crib soother? It has worked wonders with Aubrey. We have never really done CIO with Aubrey because since I am home with her we let her run her own schedule, I am sure this will change a great deal if and when I go back to work. However there are times when she is really fussy because she has not napped or for whatever reason is tired and we have taken care of all of her needs and she still has is fussy. We turn the soother on put her in her crib and she just watches it. By the time the soother has cycled through she is out.
We do have a crib soother. We have a mobile that plays music, and we also have some lullaby CDs that calm her down while she's rocking. The mobile and soft music don't work all the time, but they often help.
ReplyDeleteThat picture of Bridgette is priceless! I love it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this may be just me, but the first time I read the sentence, "She was fed with a dry diaper..." I thought you fed her a diaper. Don't worry, I figured it out right away, that was just my initial confusion :)
Did you ever get a swing? That worked wonders for Stephen for a long time. Might be something else worth trying.
ReplyDeleteCorey and Megan lent us their swing, and Bridget actually isn't a big fan of it. She cries when we put her in it. Half the time, she'll fall asleep, and the other half, she'll just keep crying. My mom wanted to try it out this week while she's here, so we'll see if she has any luck with it. In the back of my mind, I wonder if Bridget would like one that swings side to side better. This one swings like a regular swing. What does Stephen's swing do? Her little chair that she sits in that rocks is what she falls asleep in most of the time.
ReplyDeleteStephen's swing can go front to back or side to side. We started with side to side and after a while we switched it to the other way. He loved his swing. He slept in it about 1/2 of every night until he was 3-4 months. You can also adjust the recline on his. If you want to try it out, I can bring it on Saturday.
ReplyDeleteBridget's happily swinging right now! Yay! If that changes by like Thursday or Friday, I'll let you know, and I'll try your swing.
ReplyDeleteDamn it I posted a HUGE long comment and my firefox f-ed up and deleted it. GAHH. Here's what I remember typing.
ReplyDeleteIt's totally okay to feel frustrated and feel free to close your bedroom door and scream! *hugs* Babies are definitely not easy! When I was going nuts from "A" and her newborn colic, their mom told me it was a-okay to put her in her crib for five minutes a day and cry while I took a break downstairs and composed myself. I suggest that, but it's hard to hear those shrill cries.
I personally believe in the CIO method, but not until she is around 4 months. Until then I suggest that when she cries in her crib to not pick her up. Lean over the crib, rub her belly in slowly gentle circles, and say "shhhhh shhhhhh" over and over. The "shhh" will subconsciously calm you down and her as well--and if she's gassy it is an extra bonus in helping! It may time some time for her to realize that your actions mean for her to settle down, but she will get it eventually. By not picking her up and saying no more than "shhh" it will slowly introduce her the CIO method if you choose to do so. Consistency is KEY with this technique.
It is tricky when your spouse believes in a different technique. I know that I will be the stricter parent and Matt will be the pushover--just from watching him interact with the girls when he spends a day off to visit me at work. I don't have much advice because it is difficult to change someone's natural parenting technique, but be sure to kindly communicate with him if you are feeling stressed and frustrated with your differences. There could be a middle ground met if possible.
I can't stress the importance of using that wave CD anytime she is placed in her crib. It's critical to get her used to the sound of 'night night' time. It worked like a charm when I was there, so keep it up and her brain will become hooked! :)
P.S. I forgot to say that do long drawn out "shhhhhhhhh's" otherwise it defeats the purpose.
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